Parenting Through the College Decision

by Leigh Moore

(The pace of our blog will heat up for the next 3 weeks, as I continue my annual tradition of March Madness posts. This year, the posts will align with the kind of information a family should evaluate before the student makes a final decision.)

As Moore College Data increasingly focuses on family resources, the most important message I have for parents is this:

Be parents.

When it’s time to make the final decision, adults need to be in the room—not to choose the college, but to ask responsible questions.

• Can we expect costs to increase?

• What are the chances of graduating in four years?

• What challenges will your student face?

You would probably prefer to do just about anything else right now than scrutinize your student’s choice. It’s been a long year, and you want the process to be over. Why introduce friction?

Because nobody else will. Admissions offices are doing their job—making their institution as appealing as possible to the students they’ve admitted. They are not positioned to advise your family on whether their college makes sense for your kid.

No one is accountable to you later if time shows that a better decision could have been made.

Is this choice a good investment? Finances are important, but no not overlook the time value of your student's engagement.

Which school deserves the healthiest, perhaps best, years of your young adult's life?

Right now, your student is hearing a consistent message: encouragement, affirmation, possibility. That’s appropriate, but it is incomplete. Someone has to help translate the messages into reality.

Again, I know you don’t want to dampen your student’s excitement. You don’t want to introduce doubt. But your role isn’t to celebrate the choice until it has been stress-tested. Your student is about to make an adult-sized decision without the benefit of adult experience. You have the right, and the responsibility, to ask questions of both the student and the college.

At this juncture, most concerns can be boiled down to two:

• Is this college truly going to be affordable?

• Will the school meaningfully support your student’s goals--not only for the next few years, but far beyond?

If you can answer those affirmatively, you’ve done your job. If your student can do the same, you've done it even better.

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Coming up:

Our March Madness series, Beyond the Brand. If you are not on our mailing list, please join it!

Until next time,

Leigh